where is the sun?

So, I got really used to the sun....even though it could or could not be cold with it...it made me a lot more energetic and happy. I wonder if most people have a form of that weather disorder? Yesterday was just a big downer! After being sunny and happy for so long? What's that REM song? Sunny happy people? Seriously.

The jobhunt...well- I have had one phone interview for this one job, took the test online (HARD!), it was seriously like an SAT test. Was curious if I passed....got the word-I did! Have a second phone interview/process/benefits thing today and then I think she'll set up the in person interview. Now, this is a good job, but I also have an interview with my friend's company on Friday and I think I want that one more. I'm trying to stretch out this other process so they don't end up doing something before I get a chance to go through the interview Friday. I think it's working...I can't imagine we would have another interview until Friday or next week, so that's good. Hopefully this 2nd company makes a decision fast though.....I think it's probably a better fit and somewhere I can see myself growing, which is what I want. So, we'll see. Everyone keep your fingers crossed.

Now on the other side of this jobhunt...my little babies. I never thought moving down here would turn into me working, but I guess that's what happens. You don't ever expect it. However, my kids are old enough now that I think they'll be okay in daycare. So....daycare, what a chore. At least it's down here where 1. daycare is less expensive 2. there are a few to choose from 3. they have openings! I swear, in Seattle and the eastside, when I had looked before, which seems a lifetime ago, waiting lists and the cost were unbelievable!

My issue is choosing which is best. I think I have already made up my mind, but the process still sucks and I want things to compare it to. I have one more place to go to tomorrow, which actually I think is a really good option, but too expensive....we'll see. I'll go into it more after I look at it. I seriously had anxiety yesterday after looking at one place. And the cost is all over the place, but like C says- you get what you pay for. So, that's why the money is not the main issue here- the one I have chosen as of now is a lot more than the other, but I'm sure less than tomorrow's. But like I said, tomorrow I will at least see another option- and probably an unaffordable one, but maybe I did the math wrong...hahaha that's what I am liking to tell myself for now.

Let's hope the interview(s) go well and everything falls into place. I hate stressing about my kids and I just want them to be happy and okay. I know they will be, but the anxiety about them kills me. My cute little babies.

Okay before I was done here, I had my 2nd phone interview and it went well. They are going to set up my in person panel interview. Jeez....that's a lot of interviewing. So, I have the other interview Friday afternoon.

My mom is coming down for to spend the night Friday, C has class Saturday all day, so my mom will help at AM's swim lesson, then we're having lunch with her cousin. Then we have a bday party that evening. Next week I'll have the other in person interview....I cannot believe it's going to be March already?! What in the hell? I can't believe I've been looking for a job for over a month now....not that I was in a hurry to get one, but time really flies- it seems like just yesterday, but it was like the beginning/mid of January that I decided I should start looking. Wow, it will suck if NEITHER of these offer me a job....ha, that would really be horrible. Well, for the ego, but everything will work out. Who knows, it could be a blessing in disguise and the perfect job just around the other corner, too much to think about and analyze.

Anyway, getting ahead of myself.

Okay so I just read my previous post- to update a few things.
1. The lady did offer to have me nanny. I changed my mind about this though and decided it wasn't enough $ for all the work. I really don't want another kid right now, unless it was a little older and could actually play with my kids.
2. The interview in Kent was not for me. The place wasn't me, the people weren't me. I knew it was not going to be worth it.
3. The interview Friday is with the same friend's company who sent her CEO my info for a job. This job happened to open up, so lucky me, I now get an interview. And one of the 2 ladies I'm interviewing with used to work at my mom's company and I'm hoping it all goes well!

Crazy how life goes

Is it better to be with your kids all the time even if you are losing it? HAHA...okay not losing it, but sometimes I wonder if a bad mom is better than no mom....I'm not making any sense. Okay, so I feel like sometimes I yell....and I feel horrible, but my kids DO NOT listen to me. I feel like I ask them nicely like 10 times and the eleventh gets very loud and mean....I LOVE my children, I do, but I get frustrated, as I'm sure every mom, and especially every stay at home mom does. I know I mentioned this jobhunt thing. The lady for nannying is making her final decision at the end of this week. It sounds great, but it's not a lot of money, and it's a lot of work....a 4 month old for 3 days. That's a whole extra kid, and not an easy run around kid, it's a baby, who takes every waking second of your energy....along with my daughter who I feel still needs attention all the time, and my son who is a complete momma's boy and is attached to me and cries for me, and the two of them fight over me when they're upset...or when the other one is upset. I try to explain they can each have a leg or arm, but that's too close to the other one when they're not happy with eachother. Anyway, it's going to be a zoo if this happens. And another carseat in the car? I know I have a minivan...but what am I going to do with the infant seat? UGH. I also have an interview tomorrow- it's a Marketing Manager/Customer Service Manager position for a company in Kent. They gave a salary range....the bottom is too low and the high is good enough. If I did get it then we'd have to see about where that range falls exactly. Then my friend who works in Tacoma texted me and said her CEO (who lucky for me, knows and loves my mom) stopped in her office and said he is going to have their HR lady call me because they should find something for me. How sweet is that? So, I have been praying every night for a direction in the right path. I would love to continue to stay home with my kids, but I sometimes feel they could do better at the learning daycare....and then I think I'm their mom, any time with me is better right? Oh hell if I know. I know I love them and I think sometimes I'd die if I wasn't with them. I seriously miss them after being away for an hour....all day? It just scares me. I need a bolt of lightening answer. But I do think the little bit of money I would get for watching this cute little baby girl is enough for me and C to pay some bills, and go out to eat if we want to and still be home with my babies. And then there's the other side of me that thinks they may benefit from this learning place I looked into and they're old enough now to go...but then again...TC isn't. He's so little still. I just don't know. I guess we'll see where life takes me.

life right now

So, my life. Since Christmas, I've been trying to get back into a normal life. It felt good to be done with the holidays, but stress crept in. After the New Year and whatnot, we've started to get into the groove of a bigger house payment and all the things life brings. I had decided it was time I start nannying again or looking for a job. I have spent endless days sending out resumes and reposting on Craigslist my ad to be a nanny again. I had a couple emails about that, no job replies at all, and considering there are probably 500 resumes sent in to my one, I was not surprised. Anyway, life continues and we have been being thrifty or frugal or whatever, it is actually kind of empowering, but not so much fun :) It's not like I used to spend whatever whenever, but I didn't have to worry about it. I could have saved more, but if I wanted something for the kids or wanted Starbucks whenever, I got it. Now, I'm thinking before I buy, not buying, not spending. So, it's good, but like I said, not fun. We had friends over on Saturday and she just got a job after looking for 11 months! 11 months?? I had heard from a lady about nannying her 4 month old 3 days a week. PERFECT. Then I didn't hear back from her. This morning I heard from her again and she and her husband want to meet. I am very excited, oh and nannying would be at my house this time-makes life much easier, especially when I have two! It would be kind of more like daycare, but with only one kid....and my own of course. AM loves the idea of having a baby here, she says she wants to help. And TC is obsessed with babies right now, so I think he'll get used to it after the inital shock of jealousy...he's kind of a momma's boy :) So, I'm going to hope this works out because it's part time, I can keep my kids with me, and I get a baby fix without actually having one. HAHA.
What else is new....we are looking forward to summer. AM wants to wear sundresses. I want to take the kids to the park more and have them play in the back yard with all their summer/outdoor toys. And we have a couple weekend trips planned- our annual weekend at the lake with C's fam. And a new one- we're going to these great condos in Westport with C's brother, wife and their kids. They're going for 4 nights, us only for 2. But they are super nice places, on the ocean, with a playground, pool, hot tub, and basketball court all in the middle. I think it will be a great weekend. And now that the kids are older, C wants to start taking them camping. I grew up camping with my family all the time and I really would love for our kids to do that...it was so fun and holds so many of my childhood memories.
AM is over half way through preschool, which she loves. I am going to an open house for a new one though, it's closer to our house and there are some changes happening at her current one for next year. I'm thinking this other one may be better. It's at another church, but for one, we really like the pastor there and the preschool seems a little more academic based. We actually are attending this parenting seminar there right now. It's 3 weeks long- and only every Friday. We've finished two of the classes and only have one left. It's very interesting and helpful. It's kind of like a reminder to common sense. How to be better parents, which is what I wish for every day, so I like it. And as much as C complains every Friday before we go, he ends up enjoying it too. So, I like the church and I've seen the preschool (only during this seminar childcare) but I am excited to go to the open house and meet the teachers. Hopefully it works out and she can get in.
My 32nd birthday is coming up....wow, that sounds old. I swear I'm still 25. At least it's going up...a couple years ago I thought I was still 22. 32 does sound old to me though, very. My mom is going to take the kids on the night of the 13th so C and I can have a night off and maybe enjoy a dinner out...which is something we haven't done since our Christmas present night in Bellevue (which was fun, but not normal). We haven't just had a date night in Bonney Lake...ever. So we're looking forward to that.
The past two nights (or mornings) I've been up at 2:45. Yesterday not going back to sleep at all. And today, I did get to go back to sleep from 5:30-7am. Not fun. I am VERY tired. We are all stuffed up and TC does not sleep good when this happens. Needless to say, I am going to make myself another cup of coffee soon.
I have been exercising again which is very good. I don't think I'm really losing much weight, maybe a couple pounds. But I feel better about myself and feel like I'm at least getting a little in better health/shape. I heard recently that it's not necessarily how much you weigh but that you are at least getting exercise every day that makes you healthy. So, that has actually made me continue to be motivated. I wanted it to be like before when I didn't feel normal unless I exercized. And it's getting to that point, I do it every day. Except on the weekends, I usually take one or two days off. But going from no working out or working out sporadically month to month- to working out 5 days a week is good for me.
I am still loving living in Bonney Lake- I have enjoyed this place and I'm looking forward to doing things this summer- like going to things they have, parades or Bonney Lake Days or whatever they have here. I like stuff like that.
We had our first dinner at our friends that live here also during January, it was lots of fun. Since the holidays are over, we decided once a month we'll do it. So, we have Feb planned. It's great having friends you can have fun with that are so close- and their kids are so close in age to ours, it was a good time. Which also confirms the choice that we are done having kids :) I mean, I always had this 'what if I wanted more' feeling, but I truly feel like our family is complete. I don't have that itch or anything. I'm excited at where we are and I love watching them grow and learn. I look forward to all the years we get to watch them and their milestones.
AM is going to start swimming again- gotta get her ready for summer. Starting Saturdays at the end of Feb. She is our little fish.
Okay, I think I've blogged enough for my once a month check in :) I'll try and get on here more, but we'll see!