Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Child Thoughts
It is crazy having a child. You can go from looking at this perfect little angel that you made wondering how she got to be so cute, so smart, so wonderful...to wondering how she can be this devil child that will throw a fit (even if it thankfully only lasts 15 seconds), pinch your face, pull your hair, or open her little mouth with a jaw full of piranah teeth aimed at your finger. Then there are times when I worry how I will handle this 2nd one because it breaks my heart when she wants up while I'm trying to feed the little guy his bottle and shejust wants her mama. However, he isn't my child and of course I want to pick her up...but when there is a new little one...how will I ever not feel guilty, or more sadly, I do not want to not feel guilty. I don't ever want AM to feel she is less important or anything along those lines. I know I will make it, mothers do everyday, mothers with way more than 2 spread their love just wonderfully...and I will do it too. But is there a favorite? Are parents lying when they say there isn't...? Anyway, I love her more than this world...even when Chucky comes out to play :)
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You will not have a clear favorite... there will be times when you will favor one over the other... like when one is being good and the other one is biting her sibling! But, there really is enough love to go around.
I had the same fears when I was pregnant with Boo. How could I do this to Livi? But, now that I see her with a sibling I don't know how I couldn't. They are different as night and day, but that is because Boo has no idea what it is like to be an only child and I think Livi still remembers at times.
There will be times when AM will have to wait for you and it will be hard, but she will learn a lot from it, too.
I am not the type to sugar coat it, two is so hard... way harder than one, but there are twice as many hugs and kisses, so it is worth it!
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